mutherf***er

It’s funny how often I act like everything sucks and I hate everything and what a waste of fucking time. It is funny because I don’t just end it all. If it really sucks, why not end it? I think of this and I realize that maybe ending it here doesn’t end it at all. What if you are doomed to reliving this if you end it prematurely, constantly caught in a space-time loop constantly living the same moments over and over until by some miracle things happen to go right and life continues on towards its purpose. Or maybe it is suddenly nothing. But of course, nothing is something now isn’t it? Is there such thing as nothingness? No human can answer that question. So, I keep pondering and realizing that I can’t just end it. What would be the point? May as well play it out. Who knows what will happen.

And then I realize what it means to be Beat in the Kerouac sense of the word. This is the moment of surrender when you realize you simply have to give in and quit fighting it. We are, after all, thrown into the world. We have no control over what we are before the point of our birth. We cannot control the environment which inevitably causes us to make ourselves. We are predestined unless we are not and even then it’s simply a petty matter of judgement and perspective. We are neither predestined or free. We simply are and we have to make do with that. We are surrendered at this point and we can then find happiness.

And this is where the true individuals are. The real punks. I have consistently realized this lately and I realize that the leather clad spiky nosed scary looking people who roam around used to know this until they became a fashion trend. Same with the flannel-clad grungers or the scarcely clad strippers. Same with everyone who ever caused people to know they were individualistic. True punks don’t try to make a statement. A statement simply happens because somebody notices somebody in their confidence and wants to mimick this confidence to be at peace or whatever and suddenly you have a trend. Just look at what happened to the hippies. Look what the hippies did to eastern mysticism. They fucked it up when they didn’t get it right and far fewer people get it right than not.

Who are the true punks today?

Nobody who would call themselves a punk.

People who are free to express the beauty and joy of life admist the prevalence of darkness.

Why are all movies about getting emotionless angry sex?
Why do all commercials belittle us?

Why do skateboarders make so much money?
Why are you a commodity?
Because you let them make you one.

Why does every movie plot nowadays have to endlessly repeat the same old plot about killers or warriors or people frightened or wanting to fuck?

Why is everything so negative?
Because it’s a trend we have latched onto with our apathy.

It is because our rock music is too depressing.

Because white people just don’t get the fucking blues.

They don’t understand them.

They understand country and western.

No matter how much they try to deny it

That is all they understand.

Fucking hicks.

If you want to be a punk

Dress normal

Be positive

Listen to Bob Marley

Lose your apathy

And smoke weed